December 25, 2010

Goodbye 2010...

Here is my summary for 2010! This gonna be extremely long entry and be prepared to waste 30mins of your time reading it. This space has been rather boring lately because almost every entrys are all about my night lifes. This would be my first time doing an entry on my social circles of friends and my love life. 6 more days to the end of 2010 and we will be entering a new year. Excited much? Not for me, i supposed? Because it gonna be a major year for me next year in my academic.

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This year i lost someone i love more anything else in this world to the hands of law of Singapore, Jason, for 18 months. Today we are apart for exactly 9 months and 25 days. I got together with him when i was 12, back then he was 16. Wondering why would a Secondary 4 guy wooed a primary 6 small girl? It puzzled me as well. We are together for 4 years and it's still counting on. Nevertheless, standing strong. Because of him, i got very dependent and i relied on him for everything all the time. Unlike the majorities, our r/s wasn't a smooth one from the start. Instead, it was rather dramatic and tiring. But he have never give up on me, and on us before. Nobody would expect we would have come so far, neither you nor me. And nobody would expect we would landed up in where we are today. To me, he is not only a boyfriend, he's like a friend and a father to me. He gets me present when i score good grades, he talk sense to me, he look after me and making sure i've money for my daily 3 meals, he gets me branded bag and wallet hoping i would stop getting them every week and the list goes on.. When I'm getting lost, he's just like a street directory, showing me the correct way home. This is how much he mean the world to me and i'll never forget all the good times we shared. I will be starting afresh with him next year sept or prolly nov. I'm still not sure when would be his exact release date. Starting afresh i meant by leaving our past behind, start all over again and lead a proper, legal and healthy life together. You'll never want to know our perspective of life 2 yrs ago and i'll never allow history to repeat again. It brings us a lot of good memories though.

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This year i lost someone who mean the world to me to the arms of law of Singapore, Han, for 18 months. Yes, he got into the same case as Jason which explains why you guys don't see me mentioning about both of them for quite some time. We are apart for exactly 10 months and 25 days. He'll be release on next year aug. We're brother and sister of the same mother and we've been living under the same roof for 16 years. He played a huge role in my life. He made me realized how lonely i can be without him and how strong i'm to go through 18 months of hell alone. He's another person whom i relied on all the time. I relied on him to get food for me, i relied on him to bring me out to have fun, i relied on him to expand my connections, i relied on him to cook, i relied on him to let me stay out late and the list goes on... Both of us don't express our love by words or actions but deep down our heart, we did feel each other's love and concern. We know how much we both mean the world to each other but we just don't show it out.


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This year i grew closer to this awesome girl, Cheek. She's one whom i'm very grateful to and my life would be incomplete without her. Naturally, the moment we see each other smile will appear on our faces. I starts to miss her if i don't get to see her for more than a week. Hence, we meet every weekend. Both our weekday timings are clashed due to school. She always tried her best to be there for me when i'm in need of her and she has never fail to do so. She gives me a hug when i'm down. I'll never forget the good times we shared. The 12 hours chat, stay over at Jason's place till th dawn breaks, meeting up at bishan everyday for almost a year, studying session @ Drive-Thru during my exam period, looking at me crying helplessly when Jason got into trouble, mad shopping spree at Fleas and the list goes on... Taking a walk down the memory lane and reminisce the good old days, i'm glad that we're still as close after so long. With you, you made everything possible and you made this friendship still standing strong and counting. She had always been my pillar of support and definitely one whom i confide in times of happiness and sorrows.

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This year i realized my love for this cutest friend of mine, Ning. She drifted from us due to her work and of course some of us are busy with our own things as well. Hence, our timing were clashed and led us to meeting up with each other once every 2-3 weeks? I don't see her as often as i see the rest of my girls and thus, explaining the number of photos i've with her. She's really a cute girlfriend of mine who laughs in a funny way. I love her random 'i miss you, darlinggg' texts and i love her long texts she would send me each time we go out to have fun. She would tell me how much she enjoyed spending her time with me and it just merely make my day after reading it. Without fail, no matter how long we never get to see each other the bond is always there. I always felt so heartening when I receive her hug! I like it when we get crazy like nobody's business in town, in clubs and in somewhere where we'll pour our sorrows out to one another. I'm looking forward to get our car license together and i hope these two years will pass fast for us!

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This year i met a girl who stand by me at all times and have always been playing her part as a big sister to me, Michi Lee. To me, she's like a big sister from different pussy. At the same time, she's also the most troublesome girl i've ever met because she have lotsa interviews to attend once she's jobless and she've lotsa things to get done at ulu-ulu places. Thus, i've to accompany her to do what she needs to at weird timing. Though we only know each other for barely 6-7 months but many things had happened within this period of time. We've been through a lot together, all the ups and downs. We've also learned a lot together. With her, i've learned how to talk back to people, the volume of my voice increased, the amount of vulgarities i used daily increased and the list goes on and on... The most special part about us is we're similar in many ways. Just too many for me to name out. Prolly this explains why i'm able to cling along with her so well? We chat on phone for hours almost everyday and we have never run out of topics to say. We don't see each other everyday. I had all my craziest times with her and i wish life don't fuck us up so often anymore. I never dare to text her when i'm out alone b/c her replys would be superb hilarious. I thank you very much for taking care of me whenever i'm drunk!

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This year i found back my long lost best friend who has been taking great care of me for the past 6 months, Shaun. Not to mention Jeff, he's the only guy best friend who always shower me with love, concern and advices. He takes care of me whenever i'm drunk, he brings me out for lunch whenever he have car, he send me home whenever he drives out, he brings me out to have fun whenever i'm dying of boredom, he always talk sense to me, he calls me everyday to chat(except during my exam period), he bbm-ed me whenever he gets up, he picks me up regardless of his location whenever i'm drunk, he dotes on me very much and the list goes on and on and on.. What's more, i ruined his christmas this year. I made him misplaced his phone on Christmas and i felt really sorry and guilty towards him now. Please know that i didn't mean it and i promise i'll behave myself the next time i go drink with you. (: I love you as much as i love my girls and thanks for always believing in me. But there are times when you don't which really pissed me off. He taught me a lot and nothing can express how grateful i'm towards him. Trust me, i do see your kindness and everything you've been doing for me. I'm really thankful to you for making everything the best out of the best and so possible. Love you, sissy!

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This year i would say i drifted apart from Jeff because i was hanging out with the two group of people you see below most of the time. I barely meet up with him and even if we meet up, we would either be lepak-ing at my house nearby or just dinner together at Tpy/Bishan. I'm sorry for neglecting you all the time. I've yet to bring you out ever since you became a free man. I promise i'll arrange time for you real soon. He love to act as if he hates me and he don't care about me but deep down his heart, i felt his care and love for me. Knowing the fact that i love sticky candy, he went down to Novena to get and surprise me at Geylang when i'm having supper with my friends. Where to find such friend that think of you when he/she walks pass a shop knowing that it's your favourite sweet and you crave for it all the time? Outta 10 times i meet him, i'm only on time for twice? Despite me always being late, he still reach the place on time whenever we meet up and he has never once got angry with me. What i admire most about him is that he don't reject me whenever i ask him for a favor. I cherish this friendship very much and i promise i'll make time for you.

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This year i started hanging out with this group of guys again. I knew them when i was 12 and we did many foolish things together back then such as selling pens, lepak-ing at Fushion &Plaza Sing, cycling at Tpy and the list goes on... With them, i experienced many things and broke a lot of my virgin trip to many places such as Universal Studio, Kallang Ice-Skating, CCK Cemetery and watching cars racing against one another on 8th Aug in town. I like the weekly dinner i used to have with them but it's no longer happening now. Like i say, happiness don't last long. I cherish every moment i have with you all. Thanks for making everything seem so possible and you guys played a huge role in my life this year! I may be complaining that i'm bored all the time but deep down my heart i don't mean it. C'mon, who doesn't like spending time with friends? Hmm.. I only hate it when you guys play lan. Other than this, i love spending time with you guys and you guys rock!

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This year i grew closer to this awesomely good friends of Jason. I miss days when all of us gathered at Jason's place every night without fail and days when we had our 'reunion' dinner on special occasions such as New Year, Valentine's day and Birthdays. I'm deeply thankful to them for taking care of me while J is away and planning awesome party for we girls to attend occasionally. The jokes they cracked has never fail to make me laugh my ass out and they simply make the atmosphere feels so great.

To sum everything up, i suppose 2010 is rather a tough year for me b/c i've lost both J and Han. They both mean the world to me. I love them more than anything else. On the other hand, I grew closer to two group of friends that played a huge role in my life in 2010. It has been a year and i hope that 2011 would be a better year for everyone. <3 Love you all!
Lastly, Merry Christmas everyone!

December 10, 2010

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Dear you,

Deep into that darkness peering, I stood at this spot where i used to visit you everyday, flashbacks and thoughts were running like water tap and not even a single second i've not thought about you today. All my emotions started hitting me hard. I hate this feeling of missing someone so constantly. You've got my head spinning and I need this moment to stop. At times like this, I'd rather pen down my thoughts. However this time round, I've this sudden urge to voice it out. You have always talked to me through secret signs, with your hands, your face, your breathing and I’ve always understood whatever you meant by your sighs and tics. I know the hidden meaning of all your awkward acts as if I’d knitted you. With me, you don’t have a hope of hiding inside some role b/c I hold onto you by every corner of the veil that lets me see you all the way into invisibility, to a place where you may not even know yourself. Being with you for the past 4 years, I’ve turned from a kid to an adult. I'm aware that at certain times my expectations in you are really high. Such as I expect you to comprehend my characteristic very well. I miss days when we had our h2h talks at your place and hugging each other to bed. I adore those simple pleasures with you. They are the last refuge of the complex. No matter what happens, I just want you to know that I’ll always be your pillar of support and definitely your pillow to cushion your fail. A scene of you is repeating in my head for umpteen times, you hugged me tightly like there's no tomorrow and said "Dear, i'm sorry to make you cry. I was really afraid of losing you one day that's why I got so agitated, I couldn't control myself and I can't imagine how life would be if I lose you. I've no idea why I've come to this state and I've never behave in such manner before. Only when comes to you, i got so hung up. I need you, you are very important to me, you know?" I was seriously touched to speechless, and I wept even harder. You’re just like my special family member whom I will run to confide in times of happiness, sorrow, wealth and woe. I've not forget about the photoshoot you've always been longing me to take with you. We will do it together next year! Love you always.

With love,
Your stubborn girlfriend. <3

December 8, 2010

Do you know the feeling of missing someone so badly yet unreachable? It sucks. Flashbacks couldn't stop flashing through my mind and i'm dying inside. I'm getting tired of being a human. One month has passed and there's still no letters from prison. For the past 9 months, i've been waiting for a paper that could make me smile just for that 15 minutes? There's so much things that i want to voice them out to you so badly but certain things just couldn't be said using a pen. Nobody knows this tormenting moment i'm going through now.

Honestly, i've no clue where or how should i start because practically every photos here are all taken at either Neverland or Powerhouse. What else can we do at such places besides than drinking? Apparently, nothing. So.. i shall let the pictures do the talking. Look how boring my life is currently?! It has been two weeks since i clubbed and somehow i miss clubbing now. Ironic much?

Ratchada>Neverland. I must say, hanging out with them is really fun and lively.

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Powerhouse for Jessica's 18th birthday celebration on a wednesday night.

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Neverland w/ Shaun & both of his pretty sisters!

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Hasbi likea high uh~ I was so surprised to see Hasbi dancing that day because he don't usually dance at a Thai club.

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Look how pretty both Sherlynn & Sheena is! They're both Shaun's sis.

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Shaun's da jie triple celebrations at Neverland.

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Dajie, congrats!^^

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