December 10, 2010

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Dear you,

Deep into that darkness peering, I stood at this spot where i used to visit you everyday, flashbacks and thoughts were running like water tap and not even a single second i've not thought about you today. All my emotions started hitting me hard. I hate this feeling of missing someone so constantly. You've got my head spinning and I need this moment to stop. At times like this, I'd rather pen down my thoughts. However this time round, I've this sudden urge to voice it out. You have always talked to me through secret signs, with your hands, your face, your breathing and I’ve always understood whatever you meant by your sighs and tics. I know the hidden meaning of all your awkward acts as if I’d knitted you. With me, you don’t have a hope of hiding inside some role b/c I hold onto you by every corner of the veil that lets me see you all the way into invisibility, to a place where you may not even know yourself. Being with you for the past 4 years, I’ve turned from a kid to an adult. I'm aware that at certain times my expectations in you are really high. Such as I expect you to comprehend my characteristic very well. I miss days when we had our h2h talks at your place and hugging each other to bed. I adore those simple pleasures with you. They are the last refuge of the complex. No matter what happens, I just want you to know that I’ll always be your pillar of support and definitely your pillow to cushion your fail. A scene of you is repeating in my head for umpteen times, you hugged me tightly like there's no tomorrow and said "Dear, i'm sorry to make you cry. I was really afraid of losing you one day that's why I got so agitated, I couldn't control myself and I can't imagine how life would be if I lose you. I've no idea why I've come to this state and I've never behave in such manner before. Only when comes to you, i got so hung up. I need you, you are very important to me, you know?" I was seriously touched to speechless, and I wept even harder. You’re just like my special family member whom I will run to confide in times of happiness, sorrow, wealth and woe. I've not forget about the photoshoot you've always been longing me to take with you. We will do it together next year! Love you always.

With love,
Your stubborn girlfriend. <3

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